Harsh Criticism From a Doctor | How To Diffuse Any Argument!

26 809
159
 
Comments
ToryLinn Gryffindor HG
ToryLinn Gryffindor HG - 2 days ago
I actually had an experience with a burnt out doctor as a patient. I only went to his office once, he was very short with me and quickly dismissed me from his practice saying he doesn't treat sarcoidosis, lung doctors do. (He was a rheumatologist.) Now my sarcoidosis is is relatively unique. My lungs are not affected. In fact, the biggest issue for me is my spleen, that is massively enlarged and filtering out my blood cells making me pancytopenic. I had previously been under the care of a great rheumy who was doing his best to manage my illness. And more important, he was in the only specialty that prescribes low dose methotrexate for autoimmune diseases. After that frustrating appointment, I had my friend who had driven me had to drive me the 45 minute drive back home (we live rural.) I did research on him on the way home and found an article from another doctor labeling him the most obnoxious doctor and going on to highlight quotes from a blog where he ridicules patients and talks about how he charges the highest possible billing options for those that he views are more difficult patients. In the end, I'm glad to not be his patient, he is definitely burnt out, but I also do not have a doctor that can manage my disease. I have my family doctor, who is great, but can't prescribe the medications to manage my illness, and my hem/onc, who is ALSO great, but isnt willing to prescribe the methotrexate because she doesnt work with low dose, she works with high dose. So I'm in a state of limbo. I get the burn out rates in rheumatology, you are treating patients who are going to be sick for the rest of their lives, but ultimately, these are patients going to you because they obviously can't help themselves. I'm burnt out from my own job, but lives dont hang on the balance when I decide not to give my all. It's kinda gross that another doctor, knowing that burnout is high in the medical field could jumpstart someone else's path to being burnt out.
Wow I wrote a book... If you got through that, you are an ABSOLUTE champ!!
Fake Subyeta
Fake Subyeta - 3 days ago
i knw that stretch marks can't be removed (obviously) but are there ways to prevent them? which there probably is seeing that models who get pregnant never seem to get marks post pregnancy.
Suzanna Kiraly
Suzanna Kiraly - 3 days ago
I've learned that when someone treats you harshly it usually comes from feelings of insecurity or inadequacy that they have experienced and they are trying to dump it onto you to make themselves feel better.
Twizted
Twizted - 5 days ago
I dunno how they do it in america but student or not, in britain if a doctor did that to me (the last part) i would 100% of replied with a smart remark or a confrontation, i dont care who you are, adults are adults, anyone can lose my respect regardless of how high they are on the payroll
Saadia Sattar
Saadia Sattar - 10 days ago
you impress me with your way of thinking Dr Mike
Ms. Happiest and Luckiest
Oh god this is gold! Dr mike please elaborate on how not to dwell on the negative... Its so difficult as a sensitive person to deal with rude and mean people around us. 💜🌼 #beewoop 😊
Ms. Happiest and Luckiest
Yayy a heart reaction from dr mike 😊 sunshine! ☀️
Fatima Cayabyab
Fatima Cayabyab - 15 days ago
i am so glad you are discussing this topic doc mike.... pee woop😁
MrsSourisrousse
MrsSourisrousse - 17 days ago
I hate when "depressed" is using in a meaning "I have bad mood". Because I have a depression and when I tell people about my condition, I hear "Oh, l too was depressed yesterday, when my boss yeled at me". No. You were upset. I sometimes can't get up from my bed. And I had suicidal thoughts.
It's espessialy painful to hear from the doctor. They should know about it more then the rest. And they still misusing this word.
Queen G
Queen G - 24 days ago
Dr Mike for president! if more ppl were like this the world would b better
Danika Hammerschmidt
Danika Hammerschmidt - 25 days ago
Well don’t ya know I suck at judo in real situations so welp
Michael Herberg
Michael Herberg - 27 days ago
Diffuse?
Ben Collins
Ben Collins - 29 days ago
*OR you could just shank them up with a scalpel and run..*
Blitznstitch2
Blitznstitch2 - 29 days ago
This is awesome
Bethgael
Bethgael - Month ago
Thank you for this video. I'm one of those people who tends to knock myself around in tests and exams. Currently, I'm going for some work in a company that likes to have a 90% accuracy rate for the job they do (in fact, that's their guarantee). I have been failing their exams with results of 93 and 95.87% results (the pass/fail is 96%!). I've been kicking myself for this because I've felt like an absolute failure (I'm used to decent results but a "fail" with an A+ result really does my head in!). I don't have someone around me to put this into perspective, so this vid popped up at the right time.
deepz513
deepz513 - Month ago
Thank you doctor. I am currently facing such situation at work at first I thought I am not Gona bow down or be silent and used to give back my opinion strongly. But this dint help it only made matters worst the only way I can make peace with myself is to come to common ground ..to agree and to focus and now now I have prepare myself for better possiblity till then just put on with it.. if god brought pharoah in your life means it's time to get out of slavery and seek freedom.one day I will
Sasakiya Jevarth
Sasakiya Jevarth - Month ago
No bee woop???
Memey Steamy
Memey Steamy - Month ago
Thanks, doc mike this helped me a lot since this can also be applied during family discussions, arguments, and debates
and now I understand what my parent s feel when I initiate a discussion with them thanks again!
Inner Integration
Inner Integration - Month ago
Wow, that's narcissistic abuse. You're right they don't act like total assholes all the time. The trick wouldn't work that way. Their pattern involves using intermittent reinforcement with love-bombing and devaluation because that creates the strongest bond. For example, he gave you freedom then denigrated you for making mistakes in front of patients, even shamed you in front of colleagues to make himself feel superior. You gave good tips for dealing with difficult people when you have to. Mental tai chi! Great job choosing not to work with him long-term even though you loved sports medicine and working in NY. No Contact is the ideal way of dealing with people like that because then you can use all the energy that you used to spend just managing the relationship instead for the good fight, for what you actually want to grow in your life.
IAubz
IAubz - Month ago
You sound like more of a therapist now. Oof.
Thea DesertMinx Read
Thea DesertMinx Read - Month ago
Actual judo would be a lot more satisfying. Just sayin'...
Oda Swifteye
Oda Swifteye - Month ago
Were you training under the actual Doctor Cox?
Amelia Leach
Amelia Leach - Month ago
Anyone else come to the comments half way through to see if anyone mentioned the doggie cutout next to him??
Great videos btw
Irvin swervinG
Irvin swervinG - Month ago
If people where like Mike, in any field, our society would be a better place. Criticism is bad, constructive criticism is good.
matinamarti2007
matinamarti2007 - Month ago
The same with dental school. It was disappointing and depressing to be treated like that...
Iyat RS
Iyat RS - Month ago
❤️❤️❤️
Lenysea
Lenysea - Month ago
I like all the points on focusing on what the doctor does best and with the verbal judo with one 'but': when the doctor trashes you in front of the patient, it's not only humiliating, it also makes the patient question your competence. Add my Russian accent to the situation and the patient looks at me like I have no idea what I am doing... until I barked back at the doctor and she stopped...
I guess, we have to try our best to keep the peace, but sometimes certain individuals are just asking for it :D
Lenysea
Lenysea - Month ago
I like all the points on focusing on what the doctor does best and with the verbal judo with one 'but': when the doctor trashes you in front of the patient, it's not only humiliating, it also makes the patient question your competence. Add my Russian accent to the situation and the patient looks at me like I have no idea what I am doing... until I barked back at the doctor and she stopped...
I guess, we have to try our best to keep the peace, but sometimes certain individuals are just asking for it :D
audreythh
audreythh - Month ago
Aw ur so cute 😂💕 “verbal judo” 5:35
傅帝澤
傅帝澤 - Month ago
I remembered one time I was humiliated by an attending in front of everyone inside ER because I missed sepsis as a differential diagnosis. He was yelling so loud that almost everyone in ER can hear it. During the moment, I felt deeply injured mentally. But now I never forget to survey sepsis in similar situations. I guess this is just the way how medical students and young doctors grow up.
Also, I heard stories of how mean the teachers were during the old days. For example, sometimes when they think the charts weren't written good enough to meet their standards, they would through it out the window, then the poor guys who wrote it would have to to pick it up.
Fung Tricia
Fung Tricia - Month ago
I just kept looking at the dog pillow on his left
Jacksbros
Jacksbros - Month ago
He’s thinking of why he got criticised while I’m sitting here thinking about why refrigerator doesn’t have a d in it like fridge
WildPinkZebra
WildPinkZebra - Month ago
Omg this reminds me I’m always so hard on myself... lol.
Enrique Sanchez
Enrique Sanchez - Month ago
This is just “talk no jutsu”
Rebecca Jesse
Rebecca Jesse - Month ago
man I wish this video had been out 15 years ago.
TLDR: This is absolutely golden advice. We can't control other people but we can control our reactions to them. Its hard but can have great benefits.
I wanted to be a marine biologist when I was younger. I took honors biology in middle school and I had the worst teacher. I was sick the day before a quiz, so I did horrible on the quiz. I went up after class to ask her some questions about the quiz. Her response was to call me an idiot and rant on how she couldn't believe I got that question wrong. I took it very personally and was so upset. I avoided every science class I could after that. I wanted nothing to do with science anymore. When I had to take a science class I would do poorly because I just thought I wasn't 'good' at it. I ended up majoring in something I regretted. Now I am going back to school and have just started pharmacy school after taking two years of solid science classes to round out my pre-reqs. I absolutely love science now! But because of taking that one bad experience so personally I missed out on years of my dream job and I am starting late. I blamed that teacher for a long time but ultimately it was my own bad reaction that affected me the longest.
Wes Moran
Wes Moran - Month ago
huh, this is actually a really good tactic for work situations. i'll be trying this out! :)
Abdullah Zaheer
Abdullah Zaheer - Month ago
I’m 16 years old and I had a teacher who would criticize me all the time for not being good enough and I have a really sensitive personality so it hurt me a lot but after watching this video I understand exactly how to deal with it thx a lot doctor mike ☺️👍🏻
chikitanumber1
chikitanumber1 - Month ago
Why are doctors so mean? Does it make students build a tough skin?
Jeffrey Cuadros
Jeffrey Cuadros - 2 months ago
I think you had MD. House, sounds exactly like him.
BrainTrain *
BrainTrain * - 2 months ago
Hey Dr.Mike please can you give me your opinion on epigenetics?
Greg Pfister
Greg Pfister - 2 months ago
"Stay Healthy"
I've watched a few of your videos, and appreciate them, and your style.
I believe, based upon my experiences within the medical field, family, friends, and working, I find the hypocrisy way over the top. For instance, many, if not most, in the field will decry the horribleness of firearms and ask for restrictions because "of the harm guns cause", yet fail to look at the beam within their own eyes. So, what do I mean, and what facts to I have? Sure, let's run some numbers;

- As per a respected report by John Hopkins, at least 250K patients will die in hospitals alone every year due to medical mistakes / negligence. Notice, that's hospitals alone, not specialty centers, general offices, pharmacy, etc.. That alone raises the medical profession as the third highest killer - every year.
- There are 400M+ firearms in citizens hands with a yearly increase of new firearms of over 10M, in a population of 330M citizens (man women child),
- As per CDC, less than 15K deaths are caused by homicide with a firearm, including all U.S. Territories. This equates to less than 1/2 of a single percent of deaths every year.
- Further, of the three studies ever performed, as well as other estimates, 75% of those deaths are caused by people who were felons before pulling the trigger (too young to be in possession of a pistol - federal laws stipulates 21, felon in possession of a firearm - usually gang member, use in commission of a crime, "gun free zone", etc.). In all, 11,250 deaths occur by people who already broke the law BEFORE killing someone with a firearm - therefore they, obviously, will NOT follow ANY law restricting firearms. So, that leaves less than 3,750 people who are killed every year by homicide with a firearm. But wait! Over 1K of those are JUSTIFIED - in defense of rape, knife attack, home invasion, police shooting, felony theft, etc.. Given the most number of deaths AGAINST non felon, unjustified shooting, that leaves 2,750 people who die every year by homicide with a firearm of the 2.5M yearly deaths.
- Tell us, medical professionals, are there any rare conditions or diseases that kill about that many people every year that one would be REASONABLE expected not to catch? Oh, and by the way, as per the CDC, more people die every year due to fist and feet (over 10K), then the 2,750. Or even those that fall off ladders.
So, after all that, why is it that the medical community always talk about "gun crime", when their own actions affect many more people. Could it be intentional misdirection, or just ignorance?
Sources available upon request.
Matthew Doutt
Matthew Doutt - 2 months ago
As crude as the context is, "prescription for knowledge" sounds like a really good line _out_ of context.
Chris S
Chris S - 2 months ago
Where is the best place to ask medical questions we all have??
DannyDzNuts
DannyDzNuts - 2 months ago
Who wrote these captions? xD "Points to his nice head' xD xD
Keilah Machelle
Keilah Machelle - 2 months ago
I worked as an Executive Assistant to a family medical doctor once and she consistently tried to break me down every chance she got in front of anyone who was around and also privately. What I learned was her agnst towards me had less to do with me and more to do with her. I was there to do my job and I did it well and if she wanted to conduct herself in an unprofessional manner then it was to her detriment not mine. Eventually her practice caved but not before I got out of there first. Karma is a real thing but so is believing in yourself and having positive self talk is crucial to that.
Not going to lie...your pillow freaks me out a little dude haha. Still love your channel though.
Mike Roberts
Mike Roberts - 2 months ago
Your so nice. I prefer to crush idiots at work. I want them to think twice before treating others badley. Plus nothing tastes as good as sweet revenge. But clearly I'm not as good of a person. Which I'm fine with.
Natalia M.
Natalia M. - 2 months ago
In general I don't like to escalate a situation, so I prefer to take a step back and do what you say. The problem is that the other may receive that as a weakness and this encourages their bad behavior. Sometimes you have to set your boundaries from the start.
Maya K.
Maya K. - 2 months ago
Lol the captions are hilarious! *points to his very nice head* (3:32)
Aundrea Dillinger
Aundrea Dillinger - 2 months ago
I may not be a medical student or a nurse.
This video is probably the best one in how we all deal with negative emotions or bullies. This is an absolutely important message. Thank you, Dr. Mike 💖🙌
ibesweetp2
ibesweetp2 - 2 months ago
When I was like 19-20 I put up with stuff like that at jobs but now I don't care if you're the manager, the owner, the CEO whatever I'm calling out any disrespect idgaf anymore because our work culture in the US is so abusive and i'm not being a victim.
Mikki K
Mikki K - 2 months ago
I wish I could be as optimistic as you Dr.Mike
Next videos